The chav stereotype

I wore tracksuit bottoms today. For the first time in over 4 years. It was a wierd and hilarious experience.

We all associate so-called 'chavs' with the stereotypical trackies and today i made my own social experiment.

Firstly i took my little sister to school. A young girl wearing trackies and holding a little girls hand screams 'young mum' As i was walking to school i passed a middle aged woman and smiled sweetly and said good morning. The look on her face was priceless as she answered.

Next i walked to uni listening to my ipod and thought i would try something different. I walked passed a young boy at the bus stop, looking at me like i was going to beat him up, and put my ipod up to the higest volume while skipping to Linkin Park (yeah i dont know why they are still on my ipod either) He stared at me with disbelief. Is this chav really listening to 'greebo' music? confused looks all round.

I also smiled at an old lady who gave me the dirtiest look she could muster. So. yeah Job done. Most people do judge you on what you are wearing and what you look like. So next time you are walking down the street and see someone wearing trackies- don't judge them they are not definitely a chav, unless of course they start spitting at you, throwing things or shouting obcenities. Then yeah judge the chav.

Ciao for now xxx

spring is here!!! er..woo?

Horray!!! Spring is finally here! The sun is shining in the sky, the sky is a gorgeous blue, birds are singing...so why do i still feel so larthargic and down in the dumps?

I should be skipping everywhere and talking to birds like some sort of metalist, but the truth is i only feel like that when i'm not in the building that has University of Cumbria written in big letters.

Yes, i have become lazy again. Lazy with my education. Last week i was on a high- i had a brilliant interview that made me feel like a journalist for once and a chance of getting published somewhere. With that chance falling flat on it's arse as quick as a toddler learning to walk with banana shoes on (ok that was a crap simile, leave me alone) i'm back in this building learning about colours. I kid you not.

I have so much to do as well- My mother and my boyfriend are back here and to top it all off i have two exams next week, a 2000 word essay, the page of the magazine to start, articles to sub and then the website to build. I have realised i have more in my life than just this course and i have no idea how to fit it all in. So much so i feel tired, stressed and very close to my head exploding.

I was blaming Uni for this stress too. Oh yeah they just give us all this work at the same time blah blah when really it's my own fault for managing my time badly.

Then something interesting happened today- Molly invited me to her house party. My intial reaction was "no i have too much work to do", but the more i thought about it the more i realised that i will get home see my little sister and then procrastinate for the rest of the night anyway.

So screw it i am going to the party and i am going to have fun, whether i like it or not.

Oh yeah, if you are feeling as stressed as i am here is some monkeys looking through some binnoculas in Africa. Well, it made me laugh!

Enjoy the sunshine!!
xxx

Valentines, schmalentines

Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14 by many people throughout the world. In the West, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery

Eek. Why do we need this day to express our love? Do on the other 364 days involve us just liking wach other? Does Feb 14th really make us fall head over heels in love with our other half then when the clock strikes 12am BOOM the love has gone. Bollocks.

Numerous early Christian martyrs were named Valentine. Yeah, so now apparently love is associated with martyrdom. St Valentine was actually a martyr from ancient Rome. How romantic.

As you have probably realised- i hate Valentine's Day. I think its a complete waste of time and coporate hallmark crap. I don't need a card and presents to be shown im loved. The day makes single people feel lonely and the people in relationships under pressure to show what a wonderful couple they are. People get competetive with their relationship and i think it is silly.

Don't get me wrong, me and Andi have had two wonderful Valentine's days together- by ourselves.

I don't like going out for the simple reason you are being scrutinised by everyone: "ooh look at them wonder how long they will last. wonder if he got her flowers" blah.

Andi buys me things i and i buy him things all the time. We have a wonderful solid relationship that i don't need confirmed with a flimsy card and some wilting flowers.

So my advice is to ignore this stupid day- it's not even a proper holiday it's made up- and show your partner you love them everyday. Because love is forever, not just for Valentines day!

Personally, i blame Geoffrey Chaucer. The bugger.

lots of love, everyday!

xxxxxx

My new love

I have to confess. I have fallen in love. With a woman named Stephanie Calman. I really think it was the best interview i have ever done. She is the nicest person and is so down to earth even if she has had a huge success with her writing.

So at the beginning of last week i was feeling very low about my journalism. I just can't seem to get it right at the moment. I had no passion for it anymore. And now i have met this lovely woman who admits she was also bottom in english and had notalent for creative writing at all. She was just persistent. She has taught me the most out of everyone in my education so far, and i love her for it.

I realise now that i can get there. I love writing in my own style. Stuff the boring yarn that newspapers have you write. My family life is exciting to all of my friends so why can it not be exciting to the rest of the country. I am feeling really ambitious now. This article has shown me that if i am passionate about what i am writing about the words just flow, much the same as this blog.

I am a wierd person and now i can put this to good use. I'm off to amazon to look for James Thurber and SJ Perelman books. Non-fiction is now my way forward. Or if all else fails i have found the magazine i can write for: Front. If you don't know what that is, look it up. If you do, you know i would be like a duck to water in that magazine.

Oh, and look up Stephanie Calman. She is a great person.

Ciao for now!

xxx

Stuck in a rut or should that be runt? ho ho

I just read Adams Blog and it got me to thinking about my attitude to Uni.

I really don't know what to do with myself at the minute. It's great having Andi back, don't get me wrong but the last few weeks have been seriously stressing me out.

It's like i have lost all interest in uni. Part of me wishes that i had just got a full time job and worked up that ladder instead of running up this massive debt. It all started when Terry gave me feed back on my portfolio and general print 1 work. Afterwards i just wanted to shoot myself in the head. The confidence i was gaining was shattered right there in that 5 minute conversation. Yes, i know Terry didn't mean it to do that, but it did.

My grammar's shit. my articles are shit. my interviews are shit. I'm just generally shit. Cheers TK, im leaving your appreciation society on Facebook.

I can take critisism no bother. But this was like a kick in the face. Then he asked me if i was at all bothered about this degree as it seems to him that it's only a small part of my life. Well no Terry, paying £3.500 a year for this conversation i can't say it is only that.

I just feel really dumb and can't really talk about it to anyone. I blurted it out in Costas the other day and Dan gave me some advice. Still i don't think journalism is for me, maybe some part of it, i haven't decided.

My passion for this course has gone. Maybe i should just get pregnant now and live off benefits. That's a joke. Obviously.

I've realised this blog sounds depressing. I guess i am at the moment, but i'll survive. I'll pass get my degree and settle in some mediocre job somewhere. It'll be great.

public apology

i must apologise for my behaviour in the last blog i wrote. It has been deleted now, because it was stupid rambling. I don't want my blogs to become angry rambles. that's not why i started them. I'm a lot calmer now than the other day. i should of just went to sleep. Instead i switched the computer on and moaned, upsetting people i don't want to upset.

i love my family and friends to bits. Just got back from Newcastle and had such a nice time with my gorgeous sister, Shell. I needed the hugs she gave me. it was lovely and calmed me down so much. i never wrote that blog to upset anyone or to stick two fingers up at anyone who was worried about me.

i was mainly angry at myself and it came out in the wrong way. i'm angry because i put up that persona of i'm fine because i think people that get upset are weak. that's a really silly thing to think, but i know that now. i realise if i had wanted to be left alone i should of kept off facebook, especially my status updates. A wise woman told me today things that really put my stupid blog into perspective: i hurt the people that are looking out for me. they're not out demanding that you put a face on it like you can't be miserable we're just supporting you.'

Also, it wasn't anyones fault that my parents were splitting up then never bothered to tell me that it was ok until i arrived home after a day of fretting. i was so angry they didn't think it mattered to tell me they were fine. as if i didn't exsist.

i have never felt so lousey. i wish i could go back and never write that blog, but i can't. so i deleted it instead. let me sincerley say: if you read it, please don't hate me for it and i honestly didnt mean for people to take offence. if you never got to read it. good i am really glad you didn't. So next time you see or know i'm upset please don't take this blog to heart and not talk to me at all. oh, and if you're upset let your family help. their hugs are the best, well at least mine are.



lots of love and hugs and sincere apologies.

xxxxxxx

Love conquers all...even self loathing

Andrew has left me. Not forever dear friends, just for a little while. But as the reflecting blog helped put my thoughts into order i thought i would do another at the moment of feeling like half of me is gone so how did we get to this?. yeah get the tissues out as you delve into my love life....

Back in 2007 i was feeling pretty low. my boyfriend of over a year had just dumped me for an older more attractive girl. i have never felt like that before. like a piece of crap. Ever been to portland square? well yeah thats where i was dumped. pretty shabby seeing as we were at a private party with his family. he was texting her on his phone all night the bastard. i was physically sick when i read the words 'even my thong' and screamed at him a bit. so there i was cold and alone while he went back inside after begging me 'to keep in touch'. yeah right cockhead. the worst thing? i didnt see it coming. thats what pissed me off. he treated me like shit and i let him because i thought thats what love was. he never praised me i realise and when he was texting 'chip' (yeah stupid huh) i laughed at the name and all i got was 'its not as bad as george' how fucking rude. anyway so i rang my sister and got a taxi to see her. good old sue. but things started swimming around in my head. what did i do wrong? how long has he been cheating on me? oh my god hes been shagging her when he was at uni and coming back to me on weekends!


Anyway enough about him. i picked myself up and started playing around. i even pulled the cleaner ,Karl with a K, at work and took him to becca's party. We fooled around in the kitchen, but did not have sex honest! he turned out to be a wierdo anyway that rambled at me about his dead twin so i told him to leave. aaah fun times.

there were others, but they don't really matter. in APRIL after me and some friends went to see mcfly-yeah im not ashamed- and it being a wednesday we decided to go to the wheel. In there we were on a mission to set me up with someone.

And not trying to sound corny, but when i saw a guy over by the DJ box i thought wow! (please dont be sick) so after some school play-ground behaviour of my friend likes your friend etc i went over to said hotty.
LISTEN UP THIS IS IMPORTANT: i did not under any circumstances jump on him! i merely went up and started dancing with him. we looked at each other and then the kisses started. if the question ever comes up on big fat quiz of the year or anything remember, ANDI started the kiss and he shoved me against the DJ box. phew it was hot. big hot romance was what it was! anyway we exchanged numbers and introduced to each others friends then i had to go and did the call me gesture. It was the greatest night of my life.

i couldnt stop grinning. i remember waking up and saying hello to my dad. he asked how last night was and i told him i had met a guy (granted i had told him that two weeks ago, but i knew this was something special) then i dont know why but i thought maybe hes forgotten my name so i text him saying hi this is GEORGIE haha hope you had a good night. BOOM he was so mine. then he rang me that night interrupting my lee evans watching. rude. i remember sitting on the kitchen table and talking about our likes and dislikes. my first thought: this guy is way to cool for me!

anyway, we were inseperable and he took me on dates. proper gentleman. One day he was two hours late so he turned up at my house with a present. oh no not flowers or chocolates, a necklace!! it was amazing! i love that necklace. and he is the reason i am addicted to family guy. up until then i used to think he was so funny. like extremely funny. then i realised he had just been quoting family guy to me the last few months. genius.

enough of the remenicing anyway my eyes are tired. really all i wanted to tell you was that Andi is the most attentive boyfriend i've ever had. he holds my hand, cuddles me and generally makes me feel safe. i really truly believe theres someone out there for everybody and im so lucky to have found mine. i have never felt so comfortable around a boy before. there are no awkward silences when we are together and i can tell him anything, even the really embarrassing and shocking things. plus he makes me smile and occasionally laugh my socks off. but dont tell him that.

the best thing that has happened to me after meeting andi is my confidence boost. before then i was shy and quiet and hated myself, actually. i was this ugly duckling sitting in the corner, but this hot guy was interested in me and i thought YES! finally. He doesn't understand why im so self-loathing and tells me again and again what an amazing person i am and honestly, it really does help my self esteem.

so this is why i am not going to let a little thing as him going away get me down. we talk everyday and when we put the phone down, however im feeling at the time, im always without fail smiling from ear to ear. nobody looks out for me like he does and just knowing that he loves me is enough.

so people. i know your worried i crying into my pillow, im not. No im not going to lie im not having a party right now and jumping round my room, but im fine. i have a great family and great friends that will help me through this.

apparently i have changed in the past because of boys. i think andi has changed me for the better. i can look in the mirror now and think 'yeah your not hideously ugly, you'll do' my god. andis even seen me in the morning- eek and eating melting icecream and spaghetti. ha not a pretty sight, but i don't care hes great and he loves me for me.

im going to stop now, your sick bucket is probably full to the brim and i dont want it to overflow. so if you have found someone keep them if you havent find them. this aint no mills and boon.

good night boys and girls

xxx