reflection, reflection

well, here i am. some may say a copycat. some may say good for you george. but others im sure won't really give a damn. so good scan it, read it, analyse it whatever.

But, really im just very bored and alone so i thought as i have laughed and shed the odd tear over some of my journalist friends blogs i thought it would be interesting to do some reflecting of my own.

Right, well 2008 has been a whirlwind. i can still remember 2008's new years day when i was recovering from a really bad hangover and trying to eat the dinner sandra had prepared. Still, at least i didnt look as bad as liam did. ha.

My dog died in 2008. Well puppy if you're going to be picky. I still miss Bailey, but i look back and feel slightly embarrased at the way i handled that situation. I curled up into a ball and said go away to the world, which in 'reflection' was really stupid. Tasha lost a relative not long after and came in to college the same day and i didn't go to college for a week because of a relative that wasn't even the same species put it into perspective. I was shocked to be honest though when it happened and my dad blamed himself. I've never seen a man cry like that before, actually not even a human being. He couldn't even bury her himself so i had to do it. Lots of other stuff came out in between his sobs, which i won't share, but believe me it was heart wrenching stuff.

My dad is a complicated human being, but this last year i think has been the best between us it has been in a while. i had been turned against him years before and would do the cringey screaming running up the stairs shouting 'i hate you' thing which is not pretty. but actually hes quite a good guy and has done a lot for me over the years. so he got married this year. it was a pretty whirlwind thing, but i think its the best decision hes made in a while. i love sandra and my new extended family.

some say my family and life is like a soap opera and sometimes i have to agree. family is a complicated thing, but i love mine to bits. Stacey and nathan are lovely and i really miss nath now hes at uni. But also this year it let me get to know liam some more. i just saw him as this annoying chav that was horrible to his mother, but this year i've seen the nice, funny side to liam and really i was wrong about him.

another person i was wrong about was mr adam montgomery. aaah adam we've become good friends this last year. i used to think that he was just the annoying friend of Graham Kelly's. how wrong i was. Adam, like my father, is a comlicated person. i dont try to understand him. now he is just adam who i will stick up for if i think people are being unreasonable about him. hes silly and he makes me laugh and i hope we remain good friends. He is the role model for geeks trying to find their place in social circles, sometimes going to far it must be said, but i mean that in the nicest possible way.

another shocker of the year: mr aaron returning. i didnt think he would do it and at the time i didnt care either. i thought he didnt like me so i turned my back on him. im glad he came back though and i will always remember our drunken heart to heart in Terminal 1. aaah

Of course Tash i cant forget you! ms Hannon has been the backbone to my time at uni. unlike me, she says how she feels and there were times when i wish i could be like that. im a coward really i just like to bitch without actually having it out with the person. im not good in awkward situations either and when im uncomfortable i just use humor as a mask you might say. i hated adam and tash not getting along im so glad they have worked it out now because i love them both in their own ways. Tash, i couldnt have done uni without you!

You always think the people you have known the longest will always be there for you, but then you realise that people change. this happened to me this year. i have no idea what happened maybe we are just too different now, but im happy for them to not want to be my friend. get on with it i really couldnt give two shits. i think they thought i would be bothered and when it became clear we were officially 'ex-friends' i thought i honestly dont care it was amazing. the friends i still have are better than you anyways and its just a waste of time us pretending to get on.

Its been both an amazing and tough year for my relationship. Me and Andi are rock solid, but i know there are some pessimists out there that have £50 riding on this cocking up. Well better save up your pennies mr because i am not letting this go. Andi is amazing. Him joining the army is the best thing he has ever done in his life (as far as im aware) and its stopped him bumming around. Im not going to lie there have been times this year when i thought oh my god this is hard. We went on our first holiday together before he joined the army which was amazing. i had never been on holiday with a boy before hehe. then he broke his leg, trust him, and has been back for a couple of weeks and now to gear up for him leaving me again.

so yeah, a funny year all in all. i've made friends and lost friends, lost family and gained family, lost andi and gained a cripple. haha only kidding, i never lost him.

peace out kids.

xxx